Time To Get Some 2 months since my last post - and in that entire time i have not so much as kissed a boy. I’m well aware that i’d be considered sexually frustrated most of the time but not having a single tongue down my throat in the last 60 days has made me delusional. Yesterday, i found myself actually wishing for a boyfriend! Luckily i was able to snap myself out of that ridiculous desire. I shudder at the thought. But that’s the problem with going too long without something, you find yourself planning the strangest things and sometimes i can’t tell if it’s what i really want or not. I’ve gone 21 years with no action, so naturally in that time i’ve managed to imagine everything about my first time. I kid you not, i’ve gone through the details with a fine toothcomb. However, these aren’t your ordinary details. I’m not dreaming about a romantic setting with cheesy music in the background and a buff man who can lift me up like a feather. No. Instead i find myself obsessing over: how much pain i’ll be in, will the pain be enough to bring tears to my eyes? whether or not there will be blood, and if there is blood should I be embarrassed or not? What if i need to piss during? if he’s awake before me will i have to wander around naked searching for my pants in front of him? As if this isn’t bad enough, i have the most nerve-racking question constantly burning in my mind: Will he think my vag looks weird?! Let’s not forget, this would be the first person EVER to see it (other than myself - and even i don’t spend much time eyeing it up). The thought of someone’s face being that close to my junk makes me want to join a nunnery. Sometimes i wish i could go back to my 14 year old self and just tell her to quit worrying and spread her legs. At least then i would have just laid back and let it happen - rather than spending a Wednesday night planing which angle i should lie in order to make my butt look smallest. Tragic.
2 months since my last post - and in that entire time i have not so much as kissed a boy.
I’m well aware that i’d be considered sexually frustrated most of the time but not having a single tongue down my throat in the last 60 days has made me delusional. Yesterday, i found myself actually…